Divine Detachment

I've really been enjoying a marriage devotional by Gary Thomas titled, Devotions for a Sacred Marriage. Here's an excerpt from a recent chapter:

"For without [God], who can... find enjoyment?

Ecclesiastes 2:25

I'm convinced one of God's purposes for marriage is to create a divine disillusionment. He needs to bring us to the end of our belief that anyone other than God can ever fully satisfy us....

...a sense of betrayal almost always comes to the surface: 'He won't do what I need him to do,' or, 'She just won't do what I want her to do.'

When the desires are legitimate, the pain of denial is keenly felt; but demands - even legitimate ones - still represent the Achilles' heel of every person's contentment. Spiritually, demands place us at the mercy of sinful persons who are limited in their ability to love. If we look to anyone other than God to meet our deepest needs, we are guaranteeing frustration.

...In fact, I'll go out on a limb and claim it's somewhat healthy to feel a little disillusioned in your marriage, because it's at that point you'll realize you need to look to God for your highest joy. You may feel tempted to respond to disillusionment by searching for another spouse who promises to 'fulfill' you more, but eventually you would find that, while she had strengths your spouse lacked, she was missing some of your spouse's better qualities. Life with that new person would inevitably bring its own disillusionment, until one day you'd wake up to the fact that your soul's happiness really does depend on a holy, perfect God - not a sinful human being...

So your spouse has disappointed and continues to disappoint you? Thank God. You're in a great place. You're in the doorway of detachment, where you can learn to let go of the expectations of the created and fall into the arms of the Creator. Our Lord took the same journey. Jesus 'detached' himself from heaven to come to earth. He left his earthly parents to assume his ministry as the Messiah. he died to currying favor with the crowds so that he could become the crowd's Savior. He even detached himself from spiritually experiencing his Father's presence so that he could bear our sin. And then he willingly detached himself from life on earth so that he could die for our sins.

Would you be like this Savior? Then die to your demands. Be resurrected to utter dependence on your heavenly Father, who has loved you, is loving you, and will always love you like no one else can, including your spouse.

I enjoyed reading this particular devotional because words were finally put to something that I think I realized years ago. I can't put my finger on when it happened, but at some point years and years ago I remember thinking that Rich will never do everything I want him to do, the way I want him to do it, when I want him to do it. (Sounds pretty selfish even putting that into words and it is, but don't we often think that's why we're getting married? To have someone living in the same house to meet MY needs?) When I finally got a right perspective and realized Christ and only Christ is to fulfill me, to meet my needs - Wow! Our marriage just got sweeter and sweeter. (And it was good to begin with!) I don't depend on Rich to fulfill me, so anything he does is just gravy on top of what God does.

Anyhow, highly recommend the devotional. I'm also reading through Devotions for Sacred Parenting also by Gary Thomas and loving it. Ladies - if you're looking for a devotional to do with your hubby - these are good. They're written by a man so they're not too froofy for your manly hunk of a hubby.

And just because it's really hard to post without some pics... here are a few for your viewing pleasure...

Master Jedi Caleb giving his apprentice, Micah, lightsaber training.

No, it hasn't turned frigid here. In our study of the space program, the boys donned as much winter gear as they could muster and I had them perform various tasks to see how difficult it is in a big heavy spacesuit. This is Logan using Micah's workbench.

Anna thoroughly enjoyed a co-op egg hunt with her friends.

These little guys are everywhere! He must have come off of a bush as he was still green. Usually they turn brown when on our deck. Hours of fun for little boys.

A friend's sweet, sweet new baby girl. Can't you just smell her newborn head from here? It's intoxicating!

New cozzies + new swimming pool = hours of fun!